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Your Role – Journal Prompt

On the chat Journaling Channel, Sleepmonger asks:

In honor of the new reaction roles I’d like to hear everyone’s thoughts on just what each of the roles they’ve picked mean to them. This question is inspired from an outline for a profile post I struggled with elsewhere so full credit goes to the originators

All our experiences with BDSM and role definitions are slightly different. What does it mean to YOU to be your role in this thing we do?

My response is pretty normal, I think. I am, quite simply a slave. To me, it means that I have given control of my daily activities and my sexuality to my Owner. I know what I’m supposed to be doing because we’ve discussed my tasks and what else I should be doing. I have a routine for the day that he sets up. He is, in every aspect, in control of me. What I do is his responsibility and his to own. My role – my job, my life, is to make his job his role, his life easier, happier, and more fulfilling. I am his sounding board, his dictionary, his journal, his sex toy, his doll, his cuddle bunny, and his pillow to hug at night. What I do is simply anything that he wants me to do. ~ k

Sleepmonger says:

I had a harder time with this question than I would like to admit. At first, I filled in the blank with my chosen roles, making it a bit easier to define things. But, when I read over what I had written, I wasn’t describing myself through the experiences I’ve had in the past, my hopes for the future, or even distant fantasies. It was just a list of preconceptions about what I thought my chosen roles meant to me. And the reality is different… so I’ve rewritten this a bit more honestly.[9:36 PM]The truth is I don’t know what to put in the blank. In the past, being me meant taking care of someone dear to me who needed that care. Guiding and holding her accountable for her behaviour so that she might get closer to the person she wanted to be. Sometimes that was as easy as paying attention and offering reminders and taking way more credit than I deserved for her accomplishments. Other times it was a harder battle than I could have ever imagined. I’ve learned a lot about myself since the beginning of that time. I’m still that person. Wanting someone to guide, to feel proud of the accomplishments they’ve made with my help, to be impressed by their strength despite their vulnerability. But I’ve also learned that I have a dark side in me that wants to push that vulnerability further. To play on their fears while poking more and more holes in their strength until they collapse under the emotional strain and need to be cuddled and protected and brought back to normal. and I’ve learned there’s a playful side that doesn’t take any of this seriously and just wants to explore everything he can, from playful kittens to flinging hurty gummy bears at littles while they squeak and complain about that not being what they meant by wanting snacks In short, I believe my role in this means learning about, communicating with, and paying enough attention to my partner so that I might coax the behaviour out of her that I find attractive while also keeping her safe and satisfying her own wants and needs. It also means having my life together, so external events can’t jeopardize that.

Answer here, in chat, or even on your own journal.