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The Sexuality of BDSM – Journal Prompt

On the Journal Channel in chat, Sleepmonger asks:

The sexuality of BDSM might not be the main focus for everyone but it’s a huge part of it for a lot of us. So lets hear what gets everyone’s engine running. Is it the sensations? The sights and sounds? The thoughts going through your head? What is it about BDSM that just does it for you?

Answer here, in chat, or even on your own journal.

Sleepmonger’s answer is this:

Trust isn’t one I would have mentioned on my own as a pure sexual turn on but it’s very true. You can feel that trust radiating from her at the very first submissive act and it’s intoxicating. I’ve always had a bit of a hard time pinpointing exactly what it is that turns me on. It seems to vary depending on the person and the situation. Helplessness is a good one. Knowing I have full access to use her as I feel the need is a rush. and poking and prodding her resolve testing to see if she is as helpless as she makes herself out to be is always a good time. Bondage is a solid way to emphasize that helplessness.. or make it concrete? Even though I know full well she wasn’t going to move anyway taking away that option for her is yummy. I fetishize emotion a bit or psychological resolve? I can’t think of the right term. Basically, if someone is choosing to suppress a flight or fight or other basic human instinct for my sake my endorphins are going to spike. Something simple like her instinctively putting her hands back to protect herself from my torments but catching herself halfway and submitting is huge for me. The two sort of seem contrary to each other.. like if I want her helpless why do I get off knowing they aren’t but chose to submit? I think that’s the tie in though. I knew she wasn’t going to move. She knew I’d move her hands and keep going. But we both make a conscious informed decision to be, or to enforce being, helpless and to play into each other’s desire for that. Logically she could just get up and leave or not put herself in that situation to begin with. But it’s sexy AF to me when in her reality the only option is to exist in that moment and get fucked or to fight through tears and endure being tormented.

thebdsmgarden

This is just a little slice of The Garden at www.TheBDSMGarden.com, a resource community for those already practicing, or wishing to learn the art and lifestyle of Domination and submission in their various forms and practices. In The Garden, guests learn and share the ideas and realities of pain mixed with pleasure and a moment or lifetime of consensual service. Beyond The Garden gate exists a growing collection of essays, definitions, and interactive amenities to assist the curious and the expert in self-discovery, learning, and fun. The following is an extract from the book Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns explaining Dominance, submission, and the common bonds we share. “In exchange for obedience by the submissive, the dominant agrees to care for and work toward the pleasure of both partners. Thus empowered by the sub, the dominant takes control of their scenes and agrees to abide by the limits she sets. . Some people extend D/S roles outside the bedroom, often referring to themselves as "slave" [or "submissive/ subservient"] and "master." Generally, these people consider themselves D/S "lifestylers".” Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism, Miller and Devon, Mystic Rose Books,1995, p. 9