Author: thebdsmgarden

This is just a little slice of The Garden at, a resource community for those already practicing, or wishing to learn the art and lifestyle of Domination and submission in their various forms and practices. In The Garden, guests learn and share the ideas and realities of pain mixed with pleasure and a moment or lifetime of consensual service. Beyond The Garden gate exists a growing collection of essays, definitions, and interactive amenities to assist the curious and the expert in self-discovery, learning, and fun. The following is an extract from the book Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns explaining Dominance, submission, and the common bonds we share. “In exchange for obedience by the submissive, the dominant agrees to care for and work toward the pleasure of both partners. Thus empowered by the sub, the dominant takes control of their scenes and agrees to abide by the limits she sets. . Some people extend D/S roles outside the bedroom, often referring to themselves as "slave" [or "submissive/ subservient"] and "master." Generally, these people consider themselves D/S "lifestylers".” Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism, Miller and Devon, Mystic Rose Books,1995, p. 9
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The old sub vs. slave debate

Awesomely, people trust me enough to ask questions and expect non-joking answers (which is good because I am supposed to have a clue.) Well, sometimes they get joking answers because I am afraid that I am a complete smartass – but I do offer serious opinions, too. Today, one of the ladies asked my opinion.what […]

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“Real” – Journal Prompt

On the Journaling Channel of chat, a prompt was offered by chrissa: What is a “real submissive” or a “real dominant”? Some additional information: Often times people put qualifiers on what it means to be real in this community. Examples of some stereotypes I’ve heard since joining the lifestyle (not necessarily directed at me, just […]

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BDSM therapy: Are there therapeutic and relational benefits to being submissive?

In-depth research suggests BDSM practitioners can experience altered states of consciousness that can be therapeutic. JAIMEE BELL16 February, 2021 for Big Think BDSM is an acronym encompassing a variety of sexual practices that include: bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, and sadism/masochism. The practice of BDSM usually consists of partners taking on specific roles in which one partner is […]

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Carnevale Contest 2021

CARNEVALE! This year, again, we do something different. This year, Carnevale is in celebration of The BDSM Garden. Instead of fiction stories, we will be writing articles to be posted on The Garden website. This year is a quality plus quantity contest. In general, in an article, please explain the “who, what, when, where, how […]

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2020 in Hindsight – Journal Prompt

On the Journaling Channel of chat, a prompt was offered by chrissa: Looking back on 2020, where are some areas you’ve grown in despite the challenges? As we look towards a new year, what goals do you have for yourself or your dynamic – relating to BDSM or D/s? Sleepmonger replied: runs his fingers through […]

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New Chat Toys

Serrian and MsMonster have led the charge on setting up new “vanity” chat tags to self-label relationships, dynamic styles, personality labels. The how-to is easy. After requesting a role in chat in the #role-request channel, go back to the #info-and-rules channel and look over the icons and roles listed. For the labels that you’d like […]